Last week I was reminded why I started this blog.
I woke up with my left shoulder so swollen that I could not move my arm. My mobility was restricted to right arm and my left forearm. And I was in constant pain.
My Rheumatoid Arthritis symptoms have been well managed for the past year. This flareup caught me completely off guard.
When my flareups occur, I usually go through the following emotions: frustration, guilt, and sadness. I am frustrated because I can’t use my body to due the things I expect of it like chores, exercise, cooking, and sometimes even my job. I feel guilty that I can’t keep up with my usual wellness routine. I am sad because I usually end up having to cancel plans and limit my activities. On top of all that, pain is exhausting.
Last week, I went through all of these emotions, but I found processing them easier. I found myself more accepting of the situation and forgiving to my body. I believe writing this blog has helped me accept this winding road to wellness and joy that I am on.
While I would love to be someone who can always be on top of my wellness practices, I understand that sometimes my body needs me to adjust to it’s changing needs. Even if I can’t exercise and cook myself a nutritious meal, that is okay. Even if I can’t get as much sleep as I would like due to pain, I remind myself it is not my fault. Wellness and joy can be found by simply adjusting to my new circumstance.
The flareup has past, and I am so grateful for each movement of my left arm that I have regained. I am easing back into my usual routine.
I don’t know how long it will be before my next flareup, and the uncertainty can be difficult. However, it is a wonderful reminder to be fully present and grateful for every run I take, each exercise I perform to strengthen my body, each nutritious meal I cook, each sojourn outside my home, and every restful night of sleep.
If you have a chronic condition that leads to loss of mobility and pain, know that my heart is with you. No matter your limitations, know you are beautiful and strong. You can achieve your own version of wellness and joy by taking care of your body and it’s unique needs. Don’t give up. Stay tenacious.
Wishing you safety, strength, health and a life of joy and ease.