Another week of staying home is coming to an end, and it is still unclear when the stay-at-home order will be lifted. My anxiety and depression symptoms are still present, but they have eased a bit. I am learning to ride the waves of emotions that come with isolation. I have accepted that my lifeContinue reading “Friday Check-In: What I am Thankful For”
There are good days and bad days. Sometimes I wake up feeling refreshed and optimistic about the day. Other times I wake up fatigued and full of dread of another full day at home. I am extremely fortunate. I have a paycheck, shelter, food, and medicine and I try my best not to complain. ButContinue reading “Friday Check-In: Important Reminders”
I experienced something this week that I haven’t in quite some time: I was crippled by my anxiety. I felt an intense need to be busy, but I couldn’t focus on anything. My mind and body were frantically and ineffectually busy.
At least until the stay-at-home order has been lifted, I will be posting an update each Friday. This will be a way to hold myself accountable to keeping up with my wellness practices at a time when I very much need them. For you my dear reader, I hope it will be a reminder toContinue reading “Friday Check-In: The Start of Something New”
It takes everything I have to type these words. There is so much I want to say, but it’s all stuck in my mind, blocked by clouds of doubt. I feel that at this point, with the world turned upside down, with our struggles and anxieties magnified with all the unknowns of what tomorrow willContinue reading “Stuck”
The more I restricted, the more control I felt over myself and my mind. And if I could control myself and keep anxious thoughts at bay, that meant I was a good person and a good Christian not prone to overindulgence.
When I get sick, my routine and practices are torn from me. I find myself lost without my predictable comforts. I am left alone with a body that aches from fighting the pathogen and a mind that begins to swirl with negative and anxious thoughts.
My overconfidence got the best of me. I attempted to ski down the steep hill without knowing the proper technique. I went right into a snowbank.
There is no feeling quite like it. After pushing my body for about a mile or so, my muscles have loosened up and my lungs have opened. I breath in and feel the pavement passing below my feet as my muscles tense and release. The wind blows, cooling my sweaty face. I’ve made it past the initial hump, and my body and mind are ready to run. I feel alive, strong, and free.
I suffered alone for quite some time, living in a daze of deep anxiety and deeper shame. I was so scared of what may happen if anyone found out about these terrifying thoughts living in my mind.